You can type to them if you’re not feeling up to carrying a conversation in real time. We’re dealing with your anxiety. Practicing words of affirmation with someone will help them learn how to talk to you, as well. Most people will reflect how we talk to them. Since you can read, you’re probably old enough that most of the people in your life have some history with you. By choosing to reach out, connect, and practice your words of affirmation on that person, they will start to reflect positively back to you.
What if they start a fight
Keep your words kind. If the topic moves to one that has contention in it, let the other person make their comment without joining the argument.You’ll feel your anxiety lift a little when you give yourself permission to not fight. You can say you disagree without being mean. Your anxiety will ease a little with being honest and kind.You can (genuinely) thank them for giving you further insight into their core beliefs. If they are being abusive (if you’re about to cry or find yourself about to play blame games, their words probably are), then tell them you are sorry your reached out to them at a bad time and that you hope the next time you connect it will be better and end the conversation politely. The point is to connect, however briefly, with someone each day.
If they’re dealing with something negative
If they say something negative, acknowledge it and spin it positively. Your words should affirm their state of mind and help them feel better about themselves. Something like, “Yes, the pandemic is really difficult to ride through. You’re making it look easy by posting fun things on social media.” Or maybe, “I’m really impressed with how you’re juggling parenting and working during this time. It sounds like it’s difficult but you’re doing an amazing job.”
Affirming others’ states of being and adding the genuine compliment helps your own state of being improve. It’s also practice for how you talk to yourself.
But what if you don’t have a genuine compliment? Affirm their state of being and ask what their next steps to handle it are. Don’t give a fake compliment. It feels gross to say them and even worse if they find out.